Note: We’re approaching a year since the election when I posted this. A lot has happened since then! I’m not sure this fully captures my feelings today, though it’s a snapshot in time. Health and family matters are rather all-consuming right now, but hopefully soon I will publish an update.
The election is done.
I have to admit that Trump’s victory blindsided me. I always knew he had a chance in the Electoral College, but as I write this he’s also winning the popular vote.
Now we’ll see what happens. Trump seethes and oozes grievance. He resorts frequently to provocative and violent imagery. He’s threatened to prosecute all who oppose him, shut down media he doesn’t like, and of course, carry out mass deportations that will almost certainly sweep up legal citizens by error — or maybe by design. Then there’s my people, the LGBTQ+ community. We have targets on our backs. Project 2025 puts it front and center in the opening pages:
The next conservative President must make the institutions of American civil society hard targets for woke culture warriors. This starts with deleting the terms sexual orientation and gender identity (“SOGI”), diversity, equity, and inclusion (“DEI”), gender, gender equality, gender equity, gender awareness, gender-sensitive, abortion, reproductive health, reproductive rights, and any other term used to deprive Americans of their First Amendment rights out of every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists.
Project 2025 doesn’t specifically call for the reversal of same-sex marriage, but that would be a small step after eradication of “every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists.” Plus, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has stated openly in an official Court opinion that our marriages are on his radar.
Everyone will have to deal with this election their own way. For myself, I had decided a while ago that when this election was finally done I would declare my political life done as well. I’d walk out the door, calling it wraps on what’s been 5 decades of my life — 55 years.
Well, not so fast! My political views and activities have largely defined my life and me as a person. I can’t just up and quit entirely. That would be like not breathing. But I will change what I do and how I do it.
The Early Years
I jumped into politics at the tender age of 16 in high school, where I protested the Vietnam War and got driven out by the school administration. I landed a job as Education Coordinator at a youth-run free clinic, crisis hotline, and counseling center. I did drug education for the schools and community groups and produced an agency newsletter that doubled as something of an alternative or underground paper. I served on the Cleveland ACLU’s “1984 Committee,” participated in a food co-op pulling 5 a.m. shifts at the downtown food terminal, organized a monthly recycling collection, and worked with the George McGovern presidential campaign. I worked with Cesar Chavez’s United Farm Workers (UFW) for years, first as a volunteer on weekends and later as a full-time paid organizer. Then, finally, I came out of the closet to become a member and leader of the Kent Gay Liberation Front (KGLF) at Kent State University.
All this brings my history to the ripe old age of 22.
Socialist Workers Party
In the course of doing all this, I came to realize that all social and economic problems are rooted in capitalism, where economic, social, and class inequality are inherent and inseparable from the system. Hence, I considered myself a socialist. At Kent State, I aligned myself with the Socialist Workers Party (SWP) and joined its youth affiliate, the Young Socialist Alliance (YSA). I was active until I graduated.
After college, I drifted away from the SWP for a while. During this period I volunteered several years doing Gaywaves, a weekly gay radio program on WRUW-FM that is still on the air today. I also helped organize the first several years of Cleveland’s now-annual pride celebrations. From 1989 to 1992, I chaired the Board of Trustees of Cleveland’s Lesbian-Gay Community Service Center.
I returned to the SWP as a member of its organized auxiliary. I carried out various tasks and assignments, most notably with the party’s impressive publishing house, Pathfinder Press. The complete catalog was being digitized and upgraded for modern printing. I worked in graphics, doing book covers, internal photo pages, and promotional materials. Eventually, work and family demands were too great, and I withdrew from the project but remained a supporter and financial contributor… until things unraveled.
I can pinpoint the exact moment this started. It was the evening of July 4, 2020. I had retired just a few days before, less than a week. It was a pleasant summer evening. My husband and I were sitting outside after dinner talking and scrolling through Facebook.
I came upon a discussion among friends and acquaintances, all former SWP members or supporters like myself. Although they had long histories as supporters of gay rights, I was surprised and startled that their pro-gay attitudes didn’t extend to transgender people. I attempted to interject some pro-trans counterpoints but was rebuffed, albeit politely. Later conversations became debates, at times turning acrimonious. Being called a “Putin sycophant” for defending trans people was definitely a low point.
I’ll fast forward here, but suffice it to say things deteriorated over the next three or four years until I severed my connection to the SWP. And it wasn’t just over trans issues alone. I disagree with the party’s approach to abortion rights, where they virtually celebrated the Dobbs decision. And the party gives Trump a sweeping pass on almost everything.
Democratic Party
No longer feeling welcome or comfortable in the SWP, and with a potential Trump dictatorship looming, I found myself this year thrown into alliance with the Democrats — the Democrats! I have been an active and outspoken opponent of the Democratic Party since my early socialist days shortly after the McGovern campaign.
To find myself actively supporting Kamala Harris has been necessary under the circumstances, but is also a pretty sorry state of affairs. My socialist opponents have made note and kind of rubbed my nose in it. Which is to be expected; they’re quick to point out my shortcomings.
The SWP runs candidates but they barely register in the returns, and there’s no viable Labor Party currently. So I saw advocating for Harris as the only available option to try and stop Trump.
That’s fine. Whatever. But with the election now over I can’t continue. I can’t be a Democrat. I can’t unlearn all I know about the Democrats. And I can’t betray who I’ve been for 55 years. I can’t just conclude that all I’ve said and stood for is bullshit.
Out the Door and Into the Light
I’m tired. Retirement thus far has been a disappointment. I weathered cancer pretty well but I’m just emerging from 18 months of eye trouble with five surgeries and some permanent vision loss. It’s gotten to me.
Add to this my falling out with the SWP and lifelong relationships there… well, it sucks. I’ve grown pretty depressed.
But one must carry on. For now I’ll have to proceed “party-less,” fighting for causes I support on a non-partisan, issue-specific basis. Topping the list will be all things LGBTQ+ with particular emphasis on defending and extending transgender rights. That’s where our community is most under attack. The vilification facing trans people, especially in this last election cycle, is inhuman and abhorrent.
I’m still deciding where I want to direct my money and time, but a few leading candidates include: the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), Democracy Docket, and the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC).
Title image is from Shutterstock.
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