The death and suffering of war in the Middle East and Ukraine; devastating earthquakes like Turkey’s 7.8 in February; whole communities leveled by tornados; ravaging floods in Greece, Libya and here in the United States; droughts and famine like in the Horn of Africa; wildfires across the U.S., Canada and Europe; poverty and homelessness right here in our backyards; rising hatred and violence against Jews, Muslims and my own LGBTQ+ community…

Too many of my friends, and some family too, are dealing with difficult health and physical challenges. I’ve had a hard year myself!

All this — and now today is Thanksgiving. Give thanks and be grateful, they say. How is this possible? It feels callous and selfish when so many suffer.

Gratitude is not selfish. It’s essential if we’re to be happy and help others.

I’ve listed a lot of bad stuff here! Most of us have been spared these hardships and that alone is cause for gratitude. If this gratitude lightens our load and lifts our spirits a bit, we can use that new-found energy to contribute in some way to easing the burdens and suffering of others not so lucky.

Gratitude List

There’s another kind of list we can each create for ourselves — a Gratitude List — this time looking at the many positive things in our lives, big and small.

If you really think and look around, this list can be virtually endless. From enjoying your favorite chair, to the sunset you glanced at, to the shorter-than-expected grocery line (except yesterday!), to your child’s smile, to your snuggling dog or cat, to the movie or book you got lost in… so many things!

And, ironically, we can even be grateful for the bad things. Good can be found in practically everything. I’ve endured three eye surgeries this year and my bad eye is pretty useless at the moment. And yet it could be even worse — but today it isn’t, and I’m grateful!

My two brothers and I spent a few weeks together in May this year, each of us either sick or managing some health issue. Both brothers were in the hospital briefly, and while handling this my eye was starting to go bad. Not exactly a happy time. Yet I will be forever grateful for those few weeks. Why? Never in our 70 to 80 years had the three of us spent intimate quality time like this. The situation demanded a presence and mutual reliance like never before.

We grew up together, of course. We’ve visited each other over the years. We attended our parents’ funerals together. In 2008 we even returned together to our grandparents’ home 50 years after our grandmother’s passing — a truly memorable event. But May this year was qualitatively different. I guess our advancing age and infirmities are what made it possible.

If that’s what it took, then so be it. I wish the best for my brothers and myself, but will forever remember and be grateful for those weeks we spent together. It a shame that it takes this kind of situation sometimes, but that’s life. I feel we’re on a new higher plane now, and the intimacy continues. How glorious is that!

I also have a sister. She and I are closer in age, spent more time together as children, and life circumstances over the years have kept us closer than I’ve been with my brothers. This too is cause for gratitude.

I wish everyone reading this — friends, family and strangers — a very Happy Thanksgiving with a hearty helping of gratitude.

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