Fortified with coffee and breakfast yesterday morning, David and I moved to our Christmas tree to open gifts. I was feeling a bit unsettled as David had many more packages for me than I did for him. It’s not a contest, but still some equivalence is nice.

Instead of alternating turns opening gifts, David suggested I start first and open all of mine at once. What could all this be, I wondered.

The first box was big and slightly heavy. Ah! The new handheld vacuum cleaner I had asked for. Did I mention I’m 70? One’s idea of a nice gift changes with time!

I had researched handheld vacuums on Consumer Reports and selected the one I wanted most. David described to me his arduous search to find just that model. They’re rare, apparently. I’m grateful for his effort, and his success.

So next came several small light boxes. Ripping paper off the first revealed a box of Swiffer Heavy Duty Dusters. I sensed a theme here, and was amused. Tearing open the next gift revealed a box of Swiffer Heavy Duty Clothes. I mean, they each work in different situations, you realize.

Next I tore off wrapping to find a plain brown box. Hmmm. Now what’s in here? Oh! Of course! Clorox Disinfectant Wipes. What more could one hope for?

Finally the last box, the pièce de résistance: Clorox Toilet Wand Refills! I collapsed on the couch in hysterical laughter. After a minute I had to force myself to stop for fear of causing eye pressure that would hurt my healing eye (a story for another time).

I chuckled all day long — and still am. Strangely, this was one of the best and most memorable Christmases in a long time.

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